What do you do when you want to do something you can't afford?

This year, in order to save money I’m not taking my annual vacation.  Instead I will be doing a staycation which is really not as much fun but will save me a considerable amount of money.  I’m thinking of it as delayed gratification because being financially free will be so worth this temporary struggle.  And yes I said struggle! 

Lately I’ve been good in the financial sense.  I’ve been avoiding frivolous expenses such as getting my nails done and eating out but for some reason a part of me feels I deserve a reward in fact I can almost hear this little voice telling me that since I’m saving so much money from not taking a  “real” vacation I can certainly reward myself by getting my nails done or eating out a few times this week. But I know it’s a slippery slope!

I think life is about balance but I know I’m still new in my financial recovery and too much free spending just might make me relapse into old patterns.  What do you do? How do you find balance?

My five dollar mistake

 

Do you ever feel like your finally making progress and then something happens that sets you back?  Well that’s how I felt when starting this blog. I thought I’m finally organizing my thoughts and will be more on top of things both personally and financially.  This is only my second post and I’m almost embarrassed to share this but I had an NSF.

Just to contextualize a little, this is from a girl that has had the mindset NSF’s are avoidable silly mistakes and usually show serious financial irresponsibility.  Although I would never tell someone that, I know that I’ve thought it a few times.  I usually budget each dollar and know exactly where it is going. In fact, I can be downright compulsive when it comes to checking my budget and bank accounts.  This past week I have not been as diligent as usual. This infuriates me for so many reasons, mostly because it was such an avoidable mistake but also because:

·         The fact that I was only short by five dollars?!!!

·         The fact that I casually lent  someone  $60  just days before and I wouldn’t have done this if I only looked at my balance

·         The fact that I had money in my savings account that could have easily been transferred over to cover this oversight.

Lessons my five dollar mistake taught me?

I decided I had a choice, a choice to get upset or look at it as an opportunity to learn and grow.   I decided to choose the latter and look at what I can do differently going forward.  I learned I still had a long way to go and that there will be bumps in the road but I need to stay on course.  It will be worth it.  It was also a humbling experience and I hope it will help me to be more compassionate to others experiencing financial hardships.  I also mandated that from now on I will always double check my bank balances when I have bills coming out of my account. 

After all this learning and with my new perspective  I was still feeling a little disheartened about having to pay the $45 NSF fee so I decided to do one more thing.  I decided to call my bank!  I figured what’s the worst that could happen?  They could say no and I would have wasted 20 minutes on the phone so I decided it certainly couldn’t hurt to try.  I took the direct approach and didn’t give any excuses. I explained I made a miscalculation and it was my fault and asked if there was anything she could do to help me.   She advised that they normally don’t do this type of refund but for “good will” they would do it this one time for me.  I couldn’t believe it!  I think I learned my most valuable lesson at that point.  You need to ask or try.  Sometimes we just need to put it out there, we will never know what we’re missing out on simply because we didn’t ask or say anything.   

 

 

Why Not?

Being content is wonderful, being complacent is totally different.  In certain area’s of my life I feel like I’m growing.  I see progress, I can look back and see where I was and how far I’ve come.  If I’m completely honest though, there are some area’s where growth is sorely lacking.  What have I been doing about it you ask?  Nothing! I’ve been complaining and  accepting.  Not cool!   Then it dawned on me “why”?  Why can’t I have that Job, relationship, (insert applicable desire)  Essentially,  it was “why not me”?  I realized that the only thing standing in my way was me.  I needed to make some changes or life would stay status quo.  We’ve all heard “nothing ventured nothing gained” and it’s so true but why is it that some aspects of our life are so hard to change? You know what, It often boils down to fear.  I also think it’s helpful to ask yourself, “what’s the worst that can happen?  

Sometimes financially I am my own worst enemy, I  sabotage myself in my mind.  I often will do good for awhile but once I "fall of the wagon" it's all over.  I've always been an all or nothing gal and this is a habit I'm really trying to break.  To deal with this I've come up with a strategy that I think just might work!  I'm trying to interrupt my patterns.  What's that you ask?  All I'm doing is when I recognize that I'm failing in a particular area instead of giving up and throwing my hands up I'm being intentional about changing my behaviour and doing something I've never done before.  I'll write more about how I'm overcoming specific obstacles but I find that challenging my own core beliefs I have been able to actually change behaviours!! Join me and ask yourself "why not?"